The Blake's 7 Super Test

Blake's 7 Super Test
Blake's Legacy
Blake's Progress
Naming Blake
"Avon: A Terrible Novel"?
Birth Of The Federation
The Blake's 7 Formula
To Kill Or To Stun
The Blake's 7 Drinking Game
Blake's Chicken
Blake's Parrott
The Blake's 7 Drinking Game

    Okay, everybody, if you want to get drunk but are finding the process difficult after the second glass, I've got the solution for you! A method of pacing yourself that gives you an outside stimulus to concentrate on, so allowing you to ignore the sozzling sensation as your brain swiftly dehydrates.
    So gather together your old Blake's 7 videos and plenty of your favorite alcoholic beverage, then park your bum in front of the TV and get ready for an evening of healthy self-indlugence, not to mention heavenly intoxication.
    Have fun, and remember, this shamelessly irresponsible schedule is NOT meant to discourage underage drinking, so don't have a go at me when it doesn't.

Take a sip...
        - whenever Blake barks, "Leave it!" in a testy voice
        - whenever Avon barks, "Come on!" in an impatient voice
        - every time Avon tells someone, "You're a fool."
        - any time Travis snarls, "WHAT!"
        - if Cally makes fearful noises about being alone
        - when a prop falls apart in one of the actors' hands
        - whenever Vila insults Avon
        - twice if Avon has an even stronger retort
        - whenever Vila moans about being cold
        - whenever Vila opines that all in the proximity are imminently to perish
        - any time Vila needs something very obvious explained to him
        - any time Gan shows signs of possessing any personality at all
        - every time Orac instructs people not to waste his time
        - any time Zen quibbles over the wording of a command or question
        - if Travis has an opportunity to shoot Blake and delays opening fire too long
        - if Dayna has an opportunity to shoot Servalan and delays opening fire too long
        - every time Cally's disembodied voice seems to drop an octave in pitch when she communicates with someone telepathically
        - any time someone teleports and Dudley Simpson's usual "DUH-DEE-DUH-DEE-DUH-DEE-DUH-DEE-DUH-DUUUUUH!" bar of incidental music can be heard as they rematerialise
        - whenever anyone proclaims "It's our only chance!"
        - whenever anyone proclaims "We've got no choice!"
        - when Blake blatantly misleads the rest of the crew about his plans
        - when Blake flatly fails to answer a direct question from the crew
        - when Avon subtly fails to answer a direct question from the crew
        - when Orac answers a question with another question
        - every time Avon makes disparaging remarks about heroic people or behaviour
        - whenever Vila is being pushed around by someone and he says, "There's no need for violence is there?" or some variation
        - every time someone's teleport bracelet seems to have swapped wrists for no apparent reason
        - every time someone seems to pluck a teleport bracelet or a weapon out of thin air
        - if someone's teleport bracelet falls off when it clearly wasn't in the script
        - any time Avon smiles at his own bad luck
        - twice if he bursts out laughing as well
        - whenever Soolin's South African accent causes her to pronounce something differently to everyone else
        - any time Jenna or Servalan sound like Margaret Thatcher
        - if Avon and Cally start finishing off each other's sentences
        - every time somebody punches or kicks an opponent, and yet it's all too clear that they've missed them by a mile  -  you might as well just finish your drink and start the next one during Jenna's fight with the guardian in "Time Squad"
        - whenever Avon and Tarrant get into a shallow, posturing argument
        - (NOTE: during Season 4, this one will make you VERY drunk) when Avon makes over-expressive hand movements while giving orders or asking questions
        - every time a Federation trooper gets shot or beaten up and falls over like a clown
        - every time a crew member meets an old friend who tries to double cross them
        - twice if the crew member isn't Avon
        - when Vila or Orac complain about being given work to do
        - any time Avon insults Blake while he's not in the room
        - whenever Soolin wears her hair in a strange pineapple style
        - whenever Blake wears his hair in a strange privet hedge style
        - whenever Avon wears his hair like he's been using too much spray on it
        - every time Avon growls, "Get on with it" while waiting to teleport
        - any time Avon saves Blake's life
        - twice if Blake manages to find the courtesy to thank him for it

        - if Slave congratulates Avon for displaying "consummate skill"
        - twice if Avon thanks him
        - three times if he thanks him in a smug voice
        - whenever Jenna blinks much too rapidly
        - any time Vila complains about his little aches and pains
        - every time Vila volunteers for teleport duty
        - whenever Vila gets carried away with picking a lock
        - every time Tarrant describes one of Dayna's inventions as "Gaudy but effective"
Finish your drink and start a new one...
        - every time Servalan makes Travis into a scapegoat
        - whenever Blake and Avon stare at each other for such a long moment that you're convinced they're about to snog
        - any time Avon or Travis pause smoulderingly, in what is an attempt to appear enigmatic, but which instead gives the impression that they've forgotten their lines
        - every time Blake loses his temper at a crewmate for daring to make a perfectly valid point
        - any time Vila is drunk and actually sounds more coherent than when he's sober
        - every time Vila tries it on with a female crew member
        - whenever Avon kisses a woman he's just been arguing with
        - whenever Avon, in confrontation with a female, violently grabs hold of her and seems "inadvertantly" to grope an inappropriate part of her body (who'dya think you're fooling, Darrow, you sly dog you?)
        - every time Orac cheerfully endangers the entire crew to satisfy his own curiosity
        - any time a computer shows signs of a bruised ego
        - whenever Tarrant appears to have fallen in love with someone who's clearly going to give him nothing but trouble
        - when an episode ends with Blake defeating Travis in a humiliating manner
        - whenever Servalan defeats Avon in a humiliating manner
If you're in a real hurry to get drunk, take a sip...
        - every time Zen drones "Confirmed"
        - every time Zen drones "Negative"
        - whenever Avon threatens someone elaborately
        - any time Avon uses the words "rational" or "irrational"
        - when a wall/spaceship/prop wobbles uncontrollably
        - every time Slave expresses despair at his own shortcomings
        - every time Slave apologises
        - any time Slave addresses Avon or Dorian as "Master"
        - any time Slave addresses Vila or Tarrant as "Sir"
        - any time Slave addresses Dayna or Soolin as "Madam"
        - if Avon instructs Slave to be quiet
        - whenever Avon displays affection for money
        - whenever Vila displays affection for Dayna
        - every time Gan looks confused
        - every time Gan has a headache
        - for any scene in which Servalan appears wearing any outfit that is neither white nor black
        - every time Vila unlocks something
        - every time Vila appears to be snoozing on duty
        - every time Servalan kills someone on her own side
Any additions you'd like to suggest are welcome!

Click here to visit Kaldor City