The Blake's 7 Super Test

Blake's 7 Super Test
Blake's Legacy
Blake's Progress
Naming Blake
"Avon: A Terrible Novel"?
Birth Of The Federation
The Blake's 7 Formula
To Kill Or To Stun
The Blake's 7 Drinking Game
Blake's Chicken
Blake's Parrott
The Blake's 7 Parrott Sketch

( Avon walks into a pet shop, carrying a cage with a dead bird in it. Vila, complete with a thin, used-car salesman moustache, is making a lame attempt to hide behind the counter. )

Avon: Excuse me... I wish to register a complaint.

( Vila doesn't move. )

Avon: Hello? ( Grits teeth. ) I'm talking to you, woman!

( Vila stands up, affronted. )

Vila: Whaddya mean "woman"?

Avon: I'm sorry - I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint.

Vila: Oh sorry, we're closing for lunch...

Avon: Never mind that, half-wit. I wish to complain about this parrot... the one I bought not twenty-seven minutes and thirty-nine seconds ago... from this... particular... boutique.

( Avon puts the cage on the counter. )

Vila: Oh yes, the Cephlon Blue. Beautiful plumage. Er... ( Nervously. ) What's wrong with it?

Avon: I'll tell you what's wrong with it. It's dead. That... is what is wrong with it.

( Vila glances down at the parrot. He then looks at it more closely. He walks round the counter and looks at it from the opposite angle. He walks back a few paces and looks at it again from a distance, then he walks back around the counter and gives it one last cursory examination. )

Vila: So it is. You'll be wanting a refund then.

( Vila opens the till and returns Avon's money. )

Vila: Sorry for the inconvenience. Do call again.

( Avon accepts the money in a slight daze, then turns and walks to the door. )

Avon: Well, you can't say Servalan didn't get some things right.